2011-08-05 Eleanor: This is so sweet. 2011-08-05 Sabrina Catherine: Thanks :) I'm working on getting it published :) 2011-08-13 Annie: The rhyming really works with this poem, and you put the process very politely. With the right illustrations it could work very well as a book. :) I have to say though, as a person who doesn't like children very much, that it's somewhat scary. :P But it's good writing! ;)[Sabrina Catherine]: 479.The Baby Story
Rating: 0.65
When a mommy and daddy want a baby, they do a special dance that only mommies and daddies know.
The daddy then waters the seeds in hopes that something will grow.
Then the seed becomes a flower, and grows
And grows,
And grows,
And grows,
Until one day a baby blooms.
Then the baby is plucked from the garden, and is given to the mommy, wrapped in blankets.
Then the mommy and daddy, and new baby go home, and live happily ever after.
I almost feel like the "then" in "The daddy then waters" could safely be removed and provide a smoother flow. Author's discretion though. :)